cybik

I am jumping ship to dreamwidth, as, it seems, are most people.

I don't know if I will use it in the same way as I used livejournal (partly because DEAR GOD it is a terrible looking website and also I don't know who else is actually going to use it), but at the moment I will hope that it will fill the hole.

I'm cybik over there.

I think kindness is my favourite virtue. It's so easy to be kind and yet it can make a huge difference to other people. I worked for the catering company of an arts venue in Farnham for a couple of years while I was at university. There was a regular Thursday night even for which I worked the bar. Most of the people who came to that event were really friendly and there was one couple I particularly remember because they were regulars who did things like bring glasses to the bar at the end of the night - not just from their table, but from others. It was a small and important gesture of kindness that made me feel appreciated and human. Kindness has a humanising effect. It says "you are worth doing this for." Isn't that a beautiful thing? It can turn a terrible day into one that doesn't seem so bad. It can turn an ordinary day into a good one. If someone compliments you it can make you feel good about yourself (of course it's also easy for it to be creepy if done wrong - a lightness of touch is needed for it to be unthreatening. My advice is: you don't have to wait for an answer. Don't make it a question. Just say something like "I like your coat!" and smile and turn away. Don't do it when you first get into a lift (awkwardness can ensue), for example. Do it when you're leaving. The person is not obligated to respond. You shouldn't be trying to get them to make you feel better about yourself for your comment. And don't compliment things like eyes or body or whatever unless you know the person. That's too close for comfort. That's creepy).

Kindness is a gift from one person to another. It doesn't require anything else. Thanks is nice and polite, but don't do something for someone and then, when unthanked, assume that they are the worst person ever. People have bad days. Sometimes we take it out on others. Little acts of kindness can help, even if we don't appreciate them consciously.

I want to be better at kindness. I am trying to make an effort to do little things that make other people's lives a little bit better, even if it's just helping someone pick up something they've dropped.

 
( Making a case with a fox for my kindle. )

Crow pendant, made of silver. Very simple, but I like it.
( And another pendant )

I made a brooch.

I'm not sure if I like it or not. I'm questioning everything I make at the moment, but this at least is finished.

It's made of sterling silver, 18ct gold and stainless steel (the pin, which you can't see).



I think it looks a little better in real life than in this photo. I may have to experiment with photographing it.

It's based on landscape, of course, but abstracted a little. Maybe not enough? Maybe too much? I don't know!

Good collection of links, mostly to do with the BNP.

Charlie Brooker writing about the BNP.

The BNP have been using pictures of Spitfires from the Battle of Britain to promote themselves and their whole thing of "bah, get those scummy non-Brits out of here, what have they ever done for us!" It's amusing because in the Battle of Britain the British side contained about 3,00 people and roughly 1/5 of them weren't British (the non-Brits included Poles, Kiwis, Australians, Czechoslovakians and one Jamaican amongst others)..

This piece by Yasmin Alibhai-Brown about being female and Muslim I thought was interesting.

She mentions this, which is the news that a young woman has been executed in Iran despite being granted a 2 month stay of execution. She also mentions this case of an eight year old girl divorcing her 50 year old husband.

She could have talked about Saudi Arabia, where women aren't allowed to drive. The US Department of State points out that women and children of Saudi families are considered property of the male head of household and need to get permission from him to leave the country. This applies to foreign born women who married Saudi men but retain their original nationality (it's changed now, but it's not retroactive: if they were married before 2008 they still need permission).

A married American business woman was arrested for sitting with a man in a coffee shop. In the comments section of the article in the times, there is a man who writes: "she knew the rules there and she love it otherwise she wouldn't be there i was working in saudi for 7 years they r very friendly and kindly if u respect their religion and culture and they treat their women very very well. and if she doesn't like saudi so why she still there??" I'm not sure how he can justify saying they treat their women well. What about the woman who was sentenced to 200 lashes and 6 years in prison after being gang raped because she'd been in an unrelated man's car? What about the fact that women aren't allowed to vote? Or testify in court unless it's about something that happened out of the sight of men? (the Wikipedia entry on Women's Rights in Saudi Arabia.) [Edit - apparently this article is not quite true: see Typical's comment below.)

And let's not forget the Taliban, that group of ultra-right-wing, misogynistic religious fundamentalists. The fact that Pakistan, which has had a female Prime Minister, has decided to allow the Taliban to take over portions of the country (and appear to be granting them ever more ground) disgusts me. A Taliban representative has been quoted as sayying: "the face of a woman is a source of corruption for men who are not related to them". That is to say that a woman is responsible for a man's feelings.

Rape is legal within marriage in Afghanistan. It affects the Shia population (about 15% of the population). Women who protested had stones thrown at them. Women who are raped are often imprisoned.

I don't hate Islam for what it is. I hate what fundamentalists make from it and I hate what fundamentalists seem to be able to make from any religion. Words can be twisted to have very different meanings from what was originally intended. I haven't read all of the Qu'ran, only a couple of verses. I have read the Bible, though - and I've seen how people will pick and choose which pieces to follow. I've read articles by liberal Muslims like Yasmin Alibhai-Brown who despise the way their religion is used to justify rape, murder, beatings and pretty much every evil of which humanity is capable. Usually the victims of fundamentalism are women.


There are a hundred other countries where terrible things happen to women, as well. For example, a quarter of women in South Africa are raped by the time they are 16. A woman is raped every two minutes in the US.


Of course, women aren't executed just for being female. People are for being gay (or lesbian or bisexual).

http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/world/africa/corrective+rape+in+south+africa+/3027797
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/12/eudy-simelane-corrective-rape-south-africa

Apparently a quarter of women in South Africa are raped by the time they're 16. Something like 1 in 2 women will be raped at some point in their life. There's also a wave of what is known as "corrective rape" happening: women are raped for being lesbians.

There's not really much I can say.